My Love for Fashion May be My Destruction

I love fashion. No, I absolutely love fashion and my love for it has left me unemployed and financially depleting as I type these words. Like I've posted before I left a great paying job with the federal government in August of 2008 to pursue my dream. All I wanted was a chance to work in a industry that promoted fashion and creativity. after I resigned as a Claims Assistant with the Department of Veterans Affairs I started applying for internships and part-time jobs cause I had so much money saved up in my bank account I knew it would hold me over till I found a more full-time and permanent position. Well nothing ever panned out that way and who knew the economy was going to take such a nose dive, I sure as hell didn't. I went from hopeful to hopeless and watched years of savings go down the drain. Money that I had saved from my time in the military and years after that gone.

I never knew I would be where I am today. Months went by with no job and then finally in April right before my birthday I got a job working for a jewelry and accessories company that sold to many popular chains and I was so excited to get it. Unfortunately, after only a month I was laid off because the company was over spending and lost track of their finances. Basically, I should have never been hired because they didn't have the money for an extra employee and it was a mistake on their part that I had to pay for. Now I am unemployed once again and I haven't a clue what to do. I feel like a fool for leaving my job with the government but I wasn't happy.

I thought with my heart not my head when I could have used both. Its weird I never take risks NEVER! and I finally decided to take a risk that is costing me big time. I wonder when will this risk pay off? I hope someday it will and I'll look back at this moment and say I'm glad I did that cause now I'm better off. Currently, I'm thinking about how stupid I am and I made a big mistake.

LAID OFF

After only a month I have been laid off from my employer International Inspirations. I was hired in April because they needed someone to help with an overwhelming amount of work and they felt their warehouse manager needed an assistant to handle all the extra flow that was coming. Well all of a sudden after a month of employment they have come to the realization that they aren't as busy as they thought and decided to lay me off because their accountant just informed them that they are not as successful as they think they are. This is a prime example of how a companies inflated misconceptions can cost someone a living. I don't know how in this economy I'm going to find work but I will try my hardest to get back on my feet because I'm a dedicated worker who is not afraid to get my hands dirty. I was in the military for 4 years and served in Operation Iraqi Freedom. I left I very high paying job with the Federal Government to pursuit a career in fashion and when I got this job I was so excited.

Today I cried and cried some more. Its been a long time since Ive shed a tear and I thought those days of sadness were over. Well those days are here again. I suffered though 7 unemployed months before I finally got this one. Now I feel like they wasted my time and I could have had a real job by now. I looked over a number of other jobs just to take this one because I wanted the opportunity.

Ive waited a long time for my time to come and I'm still waiting. I want to be happy and get what I deserve and I will continue to work for it everyday that I'm on this planet. Someday I'm going to get back the life I gave to others when I took the oath but for right now I don't know when that day will be. This isn't the first time Ive been knock down and got up but maybe one day Ill be a phoenix and rise from the ashes and not just brush them off. MAN! no one will ever know my pain and how much I suffer day to day just to find the missing pieces in my life. I'm lost and I don't know who I am anymore.

Can someone explain WHY ME? How am I going to pay my rent? How am I going to eat?
What will happen to me? To my former employer I wish you luck in the future and I hope you do well in all your business ventures but remember one thing in life you only get what you put out and from what Ive seen you ain't putting out enough. Maybe I shouldn't feel as bad as I do right now and take this as a sign for new and even better opportunities to come.

Peace and love to all.